Sticker Shock is a youth-led initiative geared towards changing adult attitudes about selling and/or providing alcohol to minors in our community. This initiative is happening right now at local convenience stores in Cascade County and at the Montana State Fair! Cleverly designed and eye-catching stickers, window clings, hang-tags and buttons worn by alcohol severing personnel remind consumers that are purchasing and/or providing alcohol to anyone younger than age 21 it is against the law. More importantly, it can prevent unnecessary harm including death to our youth.
Awareness and action come from partnering with local leaders, youth, prevention advocates and business owners around restricting third-party sales and preventing youth substance abuse! According to the most recent Cascade County Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 24 % of high school students reported having obtained alcohol through social sources such as family, friends and strangers.
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“Talk. They Hear You.” Underage Drinking Prevention National Media Campaign aims to reduce underage drinking among youth ages 9 to 15 by providing parents and caregivers with information and resources they need to start addressing the issue of alcohol with their children early.
WHY SMALL CONVERSATIONS MAKE A BIG IMPRESSION
Short, frequent discussions can have a real impact on your kid’s decisions about alcohol and illicit drugs.
Talking to your kids at an early age about drinking is the first step toward keeping them alcohol-free. But as they enter junior high and high school, the pressure to try alcohol increases. It’s important to continue the conversation throughout adolescence. Talking often builds an open, trusting relationship with your child. Kids are more likely to avoid drinking when they have a strong, trusting relationship with their parents. Get into the habit of chatting with your kids every day. It will make it easier to have serious conversations about things like alcohol, and will make your kids more comfortable coming to you for advice. Lots of little talks are more effective than one “big talk.” Sitting down for the “big talk” about alcohol can be intimidating for both you and your kids. Try using everyday opportunities to talk— in the car, during dinner, or while you and your kids are watching TV. Having lots of little talks takes the pressure off trying to get all of the information out in one lengthy discussion, and your kids will be less likely to tune you out. When you do talk about alcohol, make your views and rules clear. Take the time to discuss your beliefs and opinions about alcohol with your kids. Be honest and express a clear, consistent message that underage drinking is unacceptable. When they feel that you’re being real and honest with them, they’ll be more likely to respect your rules about underage drinking. As kids get older, the conversation changes. What you say to a 9-year-old about alcohol is different from what you say to a 15-year-old. Kids also can’t learn all they need to know from a single discussion. Make sure that the information you offer your kids fits their age. As they get older, you can give them more information and reinforce your rules. Remember that the conversation goes both ways. Although talking to your kids about your thoughts about alcohol is essential, it’s also important to hear their point of view. Give your kids the opportunity to ask you questions, and listen to what they have to say. Kids who have parents who listen to their feelings and concerns are more likely to say “no” to alcohol. What you do is just as important as what you say. In addition to talking often with your kids about alcohol, it’s important to set a good example. If you choose to drink, you can positively influence your kids by drinking in moderation and NEVER driving when you’ve been drinking. Be aware of where you keep your alcohol, and always remind your kids that the alcohol in your house is off-limits.
WARNING SIGNS OF ABUSE
Although the following signs may indicate a problem with alcohol or other drugs, some also reflect normal growing pains. Experts believe that a drinking problem is more likely if you notice several of these signs at the same time, if they occur suddenly, or if some of them are extreme in nature.
- Mood changes: flare-ups of temper, irritability, and defensiveness
- School problems: poor attendance, low grades, and/or recent disciplinary action
- Rebellion against family rules
- Friend changes: switching friends and a reluctance to let you get to know the new friends
- A “nothing matters” attitude: sloppy appearance, a lack of involvement in former interests, and general low energy
- Alcohol presence: finding it in your kid’s room or backpack or smelling alcohol on his/her breath
- Physical or mental problems: memory lapses, poor concentration, bloodshot eyes, lack of coordination, or slurred speech
FINDING HELP
Do Not Play the Blame Game It is hard for most parents to believe that their kids might be caught up in underage alcohol use and in need of professional help. Do not feel bad if you did not see the warning signs until your kids are in trouble or until someone told you about the problem. When most parents find out about their kid’s underage drinking, they feel shocked and stunned and wonder where they went wrong. In getting help for kid’s who drink, the first thing to do is to try not to blame yourself or your kids. The important thing is to act now to find the best available services to help your kids stop using alcohol and begin building an alcohol-free future. Talk With People You Know If you are seeking treatment for your kid’s mental health or substance abuse problem, you can start by talking with people you know such as family members, friends, schoolteachers, counselors, clergy, and your doctor. Your health insurance company can give you a list of mental health and substance abuse providers. If your employer has an employee assistance program, you can get a referral there. Your kid’s school may suggest a good substance abuse treatment program. If not, the school district is likely to have a substance abuse prevention and counseling program. Contact them for help. Find a Local Resource The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator includes a Quick Search feature to help you find details about drug and alcohol abuse treatment programs in your area.
TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT ALCOHOL – 5 Conversation Goals
- Show you disapprove of underage drinking.
More than 80% of young people ages 10-18 say their parents are the leading influence on their decision to drink or not drink. So they really are listening, and it’s important that you send a clear and strong message.
- Show you care about your child’s happiness and well-being.
Young people are more likely to listen when they know you’re on their side. Try to reinforce why you don’t want your kids to drink—not just because you say so, but because you want your kids to be happy and safe. The conversation will go a lot better if you’re working with, and not against, your kids.
- Show you’re a good source of information about alcohol.
You want your kids to be making informed decisions about drinking, with reliable information about its dangers. You don’t want your kids to be learning about alcohol from friends, the internet, or the media—you want to establish yourself as a trustworthy source of information.
- Show you’re paying attention and you’ll notice if your kids drinks.
You want to show you’re keeping an eye on your kids, because young people are more likely to drink if they think no one will notice. There are many subtle ways to do this without prying.
- Build your kid’s skills and strategies for avoiding underage drinking.
Even if your kids don’t want to drink, peer pressure is a powerful thing. It could be tempting to drink just to avoid looking uncool. To prepare your kids to resist peer pressure, you’ll need to build skills and practice them. Keep it low-key. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get everything across in one talk. Many small talks are better.
ANSWERING YOUR KID’S TOUGH QUESTIONS ABOUT ALCOHOL
“I got invited to a party. Can I go?” Ask your child if an adult will be present at the party or if he/she thinks kids will be drinking. Remind your kids that even being at a party where there is underage drinking can get him/her into trouble. Use this time to establish or reinforce your rules about alcohol and outline the behavior you expect.
“Did you drink when you were a kid?” Don’t let your past stop you from talking to your kids about underage drinking. If you drank as a teenager, be honest. Acknowledge that it was risky. Make sure to emphasize that we now know even more about the risks to kids who drink underage. You could even give your kids an example of a painful moment that occurred because of your underage drinking.
“Why do you drink?” Make a distinction between alcohol use among kids and among adults. Explain to your kids your reasons for drinking: whether it is to enhance a meal, share good times with friends, or celebrate a special occasion. Point out that if you choose to drink, it is always in moderation. Tell your kids that some people should not drink at all, including underage children.
“What if my friends ask me to drink?” Helping your kids say “no” to peer pressure is one of the most important things you can do to keep him or her alcohol-free. Work with your kids to think of a way to handle this situation, whether it is simply saying, “No, I don’t drink,” or saying, “I promised my mom (or dad) that I wouldn’t drink.”
“You drink alcohol, so why can’t I?” Remind your kids that underage drinking is against the law, and for good reason. Point out that adults are fully developed mentally and physically so they can handle drinking. Kid’s minds and bodies, however, are still growing, so alcohol can have a greater effect on their judgment and health.
“Why is alcohol bad for me?” Don’t try to scare your kids about drinking or tell him or her, “You can’t handle it.” Instead, tell your kids that alcohol can be bad for his or her growing brain, interferes with judgment, and can make him or her sick. Once kids hear the facts and your opinions about them, it is easier for you to make rules and enforce them.
TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT MARIJUANA
Marijuana — legal or otherwise — is a hot topic. It’s more important than ever for parents to protect their kids’ health and development by addressing this issue early and often. As more states legalize the recreational use of marijuana, parents are finding it more challenging to talk to their teens about drug use. “With more states legalizing marijuana for recreational use, we were getting a lot of questions from parents about how to talk to their teens about marijuana,” said Heather Senior, LCSW, and Parent Support Network Manager at the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids. “Teens are saying to their parents, ‘How can this be so bad if states are legalizing it?’” Although marijuana is legal in some states, it does not change the fact that all mind-altering substances — including marijuana — are harmful for the still-developing teen brain. Explaining why you don’t want your teen to use marijuana requires more than scientific facts, Senior notes. Parents will be more effective in communicating with their teen if they use proven techniques to engage them in conversation, instead of simply lecturing them. “You’re facilitating positive communication, as well as offering them information,” she said. For instance, if you’re teen shows interest in using marijuana, instead of telling them not to do it, you first want to remain calm and be curious about why they are interested in using a substance and what it may interfere with. You could ask them, “What is it about marijuana that makes you want to use it? What are some things you enjoy doing that marijuana might get in the way of?” You could also add, “At your age, I would much rather you find healthy ways to cope with difficult feelings and situations than turn to drugs. Can we brainstorm other activities you would be interested participating in?” This shows concern, asks their permission and promotes collaboration in thinking through healthy alternatives, like music, reading or sports.
GET IN THE RIGHT FRAME OF MIND
Here are some effective tools to set the stage for a conversation about substances:
- Keep an open mind. If you want to have a productive conversation with your teen, one thing to keep in mind is that when a child feels judged or condemned, she is less likely to be receptive to your message. We suggest that, in order to achieve the best outcome for you and your teen, try to preserve a position of objectivity and openness. We understand that this is challenging and may take practice.
- Put yourself in your teen’s shoes. For instance, consider the manner in which you yourself would prefer to be addressed when speaking about a difficult subject. It might be helpful to think about how you felt when you were a teenager.
- Be clear about your goals. It may help to write them down. Once you know what you would like to get from the conversation, you can look back at these afterward and review what went right, what went wrong, what goals were met, which ones were saved for a later date and whether you were able to deliver them effectively.
- Be calm and relaxed. If you approach your teen with anger or panic, it will make it harder to achieve your goals. If you are anxious about having a conversation with her, find some things to do that will help relax you (take a walk, call a friend, meditate).
- Be positive. If you approach the situation with shame, anger, scare tactics or disappointment your efforts will be counter-productive. Instead, be attentive, curious, respectful and understanding.
- Don’t lecture. Keep in mind that if you spoke with him /her about drugs when he/she was younger, he/she already knows that you disapprove of his/her use. To lecture him / her about this will most likely lead to him /her shutting down, tuning you out, anger or worse — it could be misinterpreted as you disapproving of him/her instead of him/her actions, which can lead to shame and, in turn, more substance use. Throwing your weight around in order to stop something from happening (“You can’t, because I’m your parent and I said so”) is highly ineffective. Avoid pulling rank if you get frustrated.
- Find a comfortable setting. Announcing a sit-down meeting (“We need to have a talk after dinner”) will usually be met with resistance, while a more spontaneous, casual approach will lower him/her anxiety and maybe even your own. Perhaps this means taking a walk with him/ her or and sitting in the yard or park. Look for a place that feels less confined but not too distracting.
- Be aware of body language. If your teen is sitting, you want to be sitting as well. If he/she is standing, ask him/her to sit down with you. Be mindful of finger-pointing and crossed arms; these are closed gestures, while uncrossed legs and a relaxed posture are open gestures.
TRY ACTIVE LISTENING
Active listening is a skill that takes practice and is highly effective.
Here are some examples of how you can exercise active listening with your teen.
Try asking open-ended questions. These are questions that elicit more than just a “yes” or “no” response from your teen.
Try: “Tell me more about…”
Be positive. Find the positives in a situation, no matter how hard it may seem.
Try: “Thank you for your honesty. I really appreciate it.”
Let your teen know you hear him /her. Reflect back what you are hearing from your teen— either verbatim, or just the sentiment.
Try: “I’m hearing that you feel overwhelmed, and that smoking pot relaxes you. Is that right?”
Sum up and ask questions. Show him /her you’re listening the entire time and ask for her input.
Try: “Did I get everything? Do you have anything more to add?”
Ask permission. Ask you’re teen if it’s okay to speak with him/her about his/her concerns, and whether it’s okay that you offer some feedback.
Try: “Are you okay with me asking you this? Do you mind if I give you some advice?”
Offer empathy and compassion. Insert understanding and show your teen you get it.
Try: “I hear that smoking pot helps your anxiety. I’m sorry you’re feeling anxious; I know that’s a really difficult feeling. Can we think of some other activities that can help you relax?”
RESPONDING TO YOUR TEEN’S QUESTIONS AND ARGUMENTS
Ultimately, there is no “script” for talking with your teen about marijuana. But let’s look at some of the arguments your teen might make when you bring up marijuana, and what you can say in response.
| YOUR TEEN SAYS: “I know, I know, you’ve talked with me about this before.” |
| YOU CAN SAY: |
HERE’S WHY: |
| “I know we’ve had conversations about drugs before, and I’m sorry if you feel like I’m being a nag.” |
Taking responsibility and acknowledging a teen’s feelings is an effective way to reduce resistance. |
| “I want us to be able to discuss topics because I love you and I want to help during these years when you’re faced with a lot of difficult choices.” |
This statement shows compassion for what he/she is going through. |
| “My concern is that things are changing quickly with some states legalizing marijuana, and that’s why it’s important that we talk about it. Would that be okay?” |
Asking permission is essential to open communication, and makes your teen feel empowered within the dialogue. Be prepared for a possible response of “NO, I don’t want to talk.” If this happens, ask why. Then have him suggest a time when he would be willing to talk. |
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| YOUR TEEN SAYS: “I’m only doing it once in a while on weekends, so it’s not a big deal.” |
| YOU CAN SAY: |
HERE’S WHY: |
| “I’m happy to hear that this is not something you do on a regular basis. The fact is, using any drug can be harmful at your age because your brain is still developing.” |
Even though a parent may want her teen to be completely abstinent, it is imperative to point out the positive — that this is not something that has become a daily habit. This allows the teen to feel like she isn’t a bad person or a disappointment. |
| “I heard you say that you don’t think it’s a big deal.” |
Repeating what you’ve heard is an example of reflective listening. |
| “What would make it feel like a big deal to you?” |
This gets your teen to think about the future, what her boundaries are around drug use and what would make it “a big deal.” It will give you insight into what is important to her. If use progresses and some of these boundaries are crossed, you can then bring that up at a later date. |
| “What are some things that keep you from using pot more often than you already do?” |
This is a question that makes your teen think about the reasons why she doesn’t want to use pot more often. It allows her to think about what pot use would interfere with if she did it more regularly. |
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| YOUR TEEN SAYS: “Would you rather I drink alcohol? Weed is so much safer.” |
| WHAT YOU CAN SAY: |
HERE’S WHY |
| “What is going on in your life that makes you feel like you want to do either?” |
This question can easily throw you off course. If it rattles you, posing a question back to him/her is a good buffer while you think about your answer. Your response may still be met with “nothing” or another one-word answer, but even the word “nothing” can lead to another supportive statement from you, like “I’m glad to hear there isn’t anything going on in your life that makes you want to drink or smoke, and I also know it’s unrealistic to think that it isn’t going to be offered to you.” |
| “Honestly, I don’t want you to be doing anything that can harm you — whether that’s smoking pot, cigarettes, drinking or behaving recklessly. I’m interested in knowing why you think weed is safer than alcohol.” |
Reminding your teen that you care deeply about his/her health and well-being, and expressing genuine curiosity about his thought process, is going to help him/her open up. |
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| YOUR TEEN SAYS: “Marijuana is a plant. It’s natural. How harmful could it be?” |
| YOU CAN SAY: |
HERE’S WHY: |
| “Not all plants are necessarily healthy or good for you — think about cocaine or heroin or even poison ivy.” |
This helps your teen rethink her point. |
| “I understand that, and I am not suggesting that you’re going to spin out of control, or that your life as you know it is going to be over. I would just like to redirect you to the idea that when a person is high, her judgment is not what it ordinarily is and that can be harmful.” |
This statement points out that you are reasonable and are not using scare tactics. It also redirects your teen back to your goal of helping her understand the harmful side effects of marijuana. |
| “People I know who use alcohol or pot on a regular basis are using it to numb themselves or avoid feelings.” |
This brings some personal perspective into the conversation, and lets your teen know that you see the effects of substance use in your own life. |
| “I would much rather you find healthy ways to cope with difficult feelings than turn to drugs. Can we brainstorm activities?” |
Here, you’re showing concern, asking permission and promoting collaboration in thinking through healthy alternatives — like yoga, reading or sports. |
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| YOUR TEEN SAYS: “But it’s legal in some states; why would they make something legal that can hurt me?” |
| YOU CAN SAY: |
HERE’S WHY: |
| “It’s legal at a certain age, like alcohol. I think that people in these states hope that by 21, they’ve given you enough time to make your own decision around it. But, let’s explore your question in more detail, because it’s a good one. Why would states make something legal that could be harmful?” |
Letting your teen know that this is a valid question is important to him being receptive to your answer. Expressing curiosity with an open-ended question keeps the conversation going. |
| “Let’s look at alcohol; it’s legal, but causes damage, including DUIs, car accidents and other behavior that leads to jail time. Alcohol can also cause major health problems, including liver problems and car accidents.” |
Alcohol is a great example of a regulated substance having severely harmful side effects. |
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| YOUR TEEN SAYS: “But you smoked weed when you were younger.” |
| YOU CAN SAY: |
HERE’S WHY: |
| “I’m not going to pretend like I didn’t, and that’s why I’m talking to you about this. I will tell you that when I did smoke, my judgment was compromised and the only thing that prevented me from getting into some horrible circumstances was luck.” |
You may want to point out some of the negative things that happened to you (or your) friends that you wish didn’t. |
| “And you may be thinking: Well, you did it, and nothing horrendous happened to you. I just want you to understand that these are chances you may take, and they are just that, chances. A lot of harmful things don’t happen to you because of your ability to make clear decisions. When you are stoned that ability is very much compromised.” |
Here, you’re not only being informative but reminding her that marijuana can impact his /her judgment. |
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Parents Toll-Free Helpline is a nationwide support service that offers assistance to parents and other primary caregivers of kids who want to talk to someone about their kids drug use and drinking. Our trained and caring parent specialists speak English and Spanish and have years of experience helping individuals and families prevent and overcome substance abuse problems. CALL 1-855-DRUG FREE
PRESCRIPTION AND OVER-THE-COUNTER DRUG ABUSE
Prescription medications are becoming drugs-of-abuse of choice, with seven million Americans abusing prescription painkillers, sedatives or stimulants in the past month. Among our nation’s youth, one in five teens has abused a prescription drug. As a result, unintentional drug overdoses, the majority of which are due to prescription drugs, are now the second leading cause of accidental death in the U.S. In 16 states and the District of Columbia, it is the leading cause of accidental death. This troubling phenomenon is fueled by several things. First, teens may have relatively easy access to prescription medications from family and friends. In addition, they often have inaccurate perceptions relating to the safety and legality of using medications for non-medical purposes. And our drug-taking culture, in which we expect quick fixes and have easy access to information about medications, underlies these behaviors.
PRACTICAL ADVICE FOR PARENTS
As a parent, teach your teen to: RESPECT the power of medicine and use it properly. RECOGNIZE that all medicines, including prescription medications, have RISKS along with benefits. The risks tend to increase dramatically when medicines are abused. Take RESPONSIBILITY for learning how to take prescription medicines safely and appropriately, and seek help at the first sign of a problem for their own or a friend’s abuse.
HERE ARE SOME WAYS YOU CAN HELP
Speak to your teen about prescription medicines — do not presume that illegal drugs are the only threat, and remind them that taking someone else’s prescription or sharing theirs with others is illegal. Encourage your teen to ask you or a doctor about the negative side effects of a prescribed medicine, how to watch for them, and what to do if a negative effect is suspected. Alert your family physician that you are concerned, and ask him or her to speak to your teen about the importance of proper use of prescription medicines.
- Keep prescription medicines in a safe place and avoid stockpiling them.
- Promptly and properly dispose of any unused prescription medicines.
- Provide a safe and open environment for your teen to talk about abuse issues.
- Monitor your teen’s use of the Internet, especially for any illegal online purchases.
WHAT SHOULD PARENTS DO?
- Educate yourself – Learn Drug Facts
- Communicate the risks of prescription medicine abuse to your kids. Kids who learn a lot about the risks of drugs at home are at least 20 percent less likely to use drugs than those who do not get that critical message from their parents.
- Safeguard your medicine. Keep prescription medicine in a secure place, count and monitor the number of pills you have and lock them up — and ask your friends and family members to do the same.
Did you know that in the U.S., one out of four people under age 18 is exposed to alcoholism and drug dependence in their very own family (American Journal of Public Health)? The most important thing to remember is that it’s not your fault if a parent abuses drugs or alcohol.
Why does my mom or dad keep drinking too much or using drugs? Adults have trouble dealing with their problems too. But if you’re worried about your parent’s drinking or drug use, he or she might have a disease – drug addiction or alcoholism. The disease of addiction can cause a loss of control and serious emotional and mental complications that require professional help and counseling.
If they are sick, why don’t they get help? It’s incredibly hard for people to admit they have a problem. Sometimes people don’t realize how much control drugs have over their lives. Or, they might be terrified of asking for help or dealing with real life without drugs or alcohol.
If my parent has a drug problem, will it happen to me too? Addiction to drugs and alcohol tends to run in families, so you could face a greater risk, which is worth keeping in mind. But, just as you aren’t doomed to suffer the same problems as your parents based simply on genetics, people with no family history of addiction also develop substance abuse problems. Your environment and other influences have a strong impact, so one of the most important things you can do to keep yourself healthy is to find healthy ways of coping with stress and other problems.
Is it my fault that me parent uses drugs? No! You can’t control your parents. You didn’t make them drink or use drugs, and unfortunately, you can’t make them stop either. You didn’t cause the disease and you are not the problem.
What can I do to help? You can’t control what your parent does about his or her problem, but you can get help for yourself. Consider speaking with a trusted adult like a teacher, aunt or uncle, counselor or coach. They will be able to support you during this tough time. There are also many groups with trained professionals who are willing to help you and your family.
For more information and help, visit the National Association for Children of Alcoholics website or call the NineLine anonymous hotline – 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 1-800-999-9999. Your parent can also seek help by calling.
Remember, there are a lot of teenagers who are dealing with this very same problem. You don’t have to feel alone anymore. Reach out for help!
It’s never easy to tell a friend that he or she has a problem… but isn’t that what a friend would do? No one ever thinks that “trying” drugs is going to lead to a life-threatening addiction, yet millions of people find themselves dealing with this issue every single year.
Here you can find information on how to recognize a problem and some suggestions on how to have a talk with your friend. You may even find yourself in need of help, or someone to talk to. There are plenty of free online resources and confidential hotlines, as well as advice from teens who have been there and have dealt with this tough issue.
HELP FOR A FRIEND OR LOVED ONE
It’s never easy to tell a friend or loved one that he or she has a problem… but isn’t that what a friend or family member would do? No one ever thinks that “trying” drugs is going to lead to a life-threatening addiction, yet millions of people find themselves dealing with this issue every single year. Here you can find information on how to recognize a problem and some suggestions on how to have a talk with your friend or loved one. You may even find yourself in need of help, or someone to talk to. There are plenty of free online resources and confidential hotlines, as well as advice from teens who have been there and have dealt with this tough issue.
Does My Friend or Loved One Have a Drug Problem?
Does your friend seem like a different person when they drink or get high? Maybe they have been letting you down lately and you think it’s connected to drug use. Or maybe some of the things they do when they are drunk or high are just scary. This can be a difficult situation to deal with, and sometimes the situation gets worse before it gets better. Don’t make excuses. Talk to your friend.
What are the signs?
- If your friend does one or more of the following, you should talk to him/her.
- Gets drunk or high on a regular basis.
- Drinks or uses drugs when he/she is alone.
- Shows up at school drunk or high or has skipped class to use.
- Needs drugs or alcohol to have a good time or cope with everyday life.
- Plans for drug use in advance.
- Starts hanging out with new friends who will do drugs with him/her or can score for him/her.
- Lies about drug use.
- Pressures others to use drugs.
- Has broken plans with you, or showed up late, because he/she was getting drunk or high.
- Shows little interest in or quits sports or activities he/she once enjoyed.
- Has driven a car while drunk or high.
- Borrows or steals money to buy drugs or alcohol.
Also, even if your friend doesn’t exactly fit any of these, but you feel like he/she is headed in the wrong direction, you can say something. You don’t have to wait for it to get worse.
You’ve already learned the things to keep in mind when talking with a friend who is using drugs or alcohol. But approaching a friend and finding the right words can still be tough and scary sometimes. When you talk, your friends will listen – even if you’ve tried drugs or alcohol yourself. You may be worried that your friend will be mad at you – but if you really think that he or she needs help, you need to say something. Remember to always follow these steps as you plan to talk with your friend about his/her use. We’re going to be friends no matter what, so don’t worry about that. We’ve had some great adventures together and it’s been fun. But I’m getting worried about your drug/alcohol use. I’ve seen you stoned/high a few times now and it’s not healthy – I’m afraid that you are hurting yourself. I’m also afraid that you are going to get into trouble if you keep going the way you’re going. Plus, when you’re using, you can get me in trouble, too. I just really hope we can talk about what’s going on with you. There are also people you can talk to confidentially who can help. It’s not too late for you to change things in your life. I’m concerned you are using drugs/alcohol because you are unhappy or depressed – or maybe some other things are bothering you at home or at school. I know it’s hard, but drugs/alcohol are not the way to deal with your problems. Actually, you might not know this, but drug use can actually increase a person’s likelihood of experiencing mental health problems like depression and anxiety. I feel like you will be making your problems worse by using drugs and alcohol. I want to help you work through this, and if we can’t fix it, there are people you can confidentially talk with who can help. I’m afraid that people are starting to talk about you and your drug/alcohol use. It’s not healthy, and I think you need to stop. You’re getting a bad reputation. Sooner or later, other people are going to find out (like school or your parents) and that will cause even more problems for you. I’m also concerned about the messages online you are posting about using drugs. Did you know that school can suspend you for what you do/say online, and college admissions officers and potential employers check your online profiles when you apply for colleges or jobs? You don’t want to ruin your reputation or future for something stupid like this. I don’t like having to talk about this, but I am worried about your drug/alcohol use. I’m here to help you and so are the rest of your friends. We can do fun things that don’t include drugs/alcohol use. There are confidential hotlines that can help and you can call them without getting into trouble. If you think you need to talk with an adult like a counselor, your parents, or a health care professional, I can go with you. I can even start the conversation. Just let me know.
PREPARE FOR A TALK
Discussing a friend’s or loved ones drug or alcohol use isn’t an easy thing to do. People with drug problems usually defend their use or make excuses. It can be hard for people to admit to themselves that they have a problem.
When you talk, your friends or loved ones will listen – even if you’ve tried drugs or alcohol yourself. You may be worried that your friend or loved one will be mad at you – but if you really think that he or she needs help, you need to say something.
A Few Things to Keep in Mind:
Be safe: Never confront your friend or loved one when he/she is drunk or high. And you should talk to your friend or loved one in a place that you feel safe. If your friend or loved one becomes angry or violent, leave and bring up the subject later when he/she is calm.
It’s Not Your Fault: Remember that your friend’s or loved ones use is not your fault and you should never blame yourself.
The Tone: Remember, how you say something is as important as what to say. A supportive, caring tone usually works best. Be assertive, not aggressive.
Be Discreet: No one likes to be called out in front of others. Wait until the right time and place to have this talk. It’s best not to start the conversation if they’re high, angry or upset. And afterwards, keep the details of your conversation private.
Plan What to Say: You may want to reference some specifics like if your friend or loved one skips class or work, takes stupid risks or is frequently hungover. Tell him or her that you’re concerned and that’s why you want to talk. If you are nervous about talking with them, ask another friend or loved one who knows the situation if you can practice with him or her, to help work out ahead of time what you are going to say. You may want to have a hotline number or some facts on hand. That way, your friend or loved one can call for confidential help or check out the facts.
Balance: Your friend or loved one may think you’re just being “critical,” so try to give examples of how you feel when you see him or her use drugs. For example, “You are my best friend. But I feel like you’re a different person when you’re high and that’s really disappointing.” Or you can write an email or note if you feel uncomfortable talking face-to-face.
Listen: After you finish talking, ask your friend or loved one what he or she thinks – and listen. It’s critical that you hear what your friend’s saying so you can offer to help. But you shouldn’t feel like you have to personally solve your friend’s problem – there are counselors who can help at times like this.
Keep at It: Talking to your friend about drugs may be a continuous process – not a one-time event – so you may want to check in with him or her from time to time. You may want to recommend that your friend talk to a counselor – and have a hotline number ready.
WHAT IF MY FRIEND DOESN’T STOP USING?
Helping a friend with a drug problem can be stressful and difficult. You may feel a lot of pressure to get your friend to stop, or you may get totally discouraged if your friend doesn’t listen to you. But remember, your friend’s drug or alcohol use is not your fault. It’s up to him or her to stop using. Remember to never put yourself in a dangerous situation while trying to help and don’t get yourself in trouble. If you think that your friend is in immediate danger, such as having suicidal thoughts, driving while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or if he/she passes out or becomes unresponsive from taking something (overdoses), you should definitely call 911 and also talk with a trusted adult or call a help hotline.
HELP WITH DEPRESSION
What is Depression?
All people have times in their lives when they are not happy. People have different names for this feeling, such as “bummed” or “feeling down” — or just unhappy. You are going to have good days and bad days, and that’s okay because you can usually learn how to deal with these troubles once you understand the problem. Usually these kinds of feelings only last for a few days, and then they usually go away. But sometimes people continue to feel unhappy — or lose interest or pleasure in their normal activities — even after whatever caused them to become unhappy in the first place is done or gone. If these feelings last for two weeks or longer, and there are additional symptoms such as problems with sleeping, eating, energy, concentration, or self-image, these can be signs of a disorder called depression. Depression is a treatable medical condition. People with depression simply can’t feel happy, and this feeling gets in the way of normal activities such as school, extracurricular activities, relationships with friends or family members, and just generally feeling good. Sometimes people even resort to drug use in an attempt to make themselves temporarily feel better; but this is a bad move, because drug use can actually worsen depression and lead to other mental health problems like anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Symptoms of Depression
- Ongoing sad, anxious, or empty feelings
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
- Feeling irritable or restless
- Loss of interest in activities or hobbies that were once enjoyable, including being close to others
- Feeling tired all the time
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, or difficulty making decisions
- Not able to go to sleep or stay asleep (insomnia); may wake in the middle of the night, or sleep all the time
- Overeating or loss of appetite
- Thoughts of suicide or making suicide attempts
- Ongoing aches and pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not go away
DRUGS AND DEPRESSION
According to a recent national survey, two million teens aged 12 to 17 (8%) felt depressed at some point in the course of a year.1 At the same time, just over 19% of teens used illicit drugs during that same year.2 Is there a connection? Here’s what recent studies say about teens, depression, and use of illicit drugs and alcohol:
- More teens who used illicit drugs experienced depression in 2008 than teens who did not use drugs. Among 12- to 17-year-olds who experienced depression in 2008, approximately 37% had used illicit drugs that same year. In comparison, teens who did not experience depression in 2008 were much less likely to have used illicit drugs (17%). This pattern was similar for most specific types of illicit drug use, including the use of marijuana, cocaine, hallucinogens, the non-medical use of prescription-type psychotherapeutics, and alcohol and cigarettes. The connection between depression and illicit drug use is clear; however, it is not clear whether illicit drug abuse causes depression or that depressed teens are more likely to use illicit drugs.
- Research shows that inhalant use is associated with symptoms of depression. Between 2004 and 2006, an estimated 218,000 teens aged 12 to 17 used inhalants and also experienced depression in the past year. The connection between depression and inhalant use is clear; however, it is not clear whether inhalant abuse causes depression or that depressed teens are more likely to use inhalants. Approximately 28% of 12 to 17 year-olds who used inhalants and had depression that same year, started using inhalants before they first experienced depression; approximately 43% experienced depression before inhalant use; and 28.5% started using inhalants and experienced depression at about the same time.
- Teens aged 12 to 17 who abuse prescription drugs (including opiates, stimulants, tranquilizers, and sedatives) are more likely to have experienced depression.
- Hangovers from drinking and sudden withdrawal from alcohol typically produce a general state of unhappiness, with elements of anxiety and depression mixed with physical discomfort.
- Teens who start using marijuana before age 15 are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression in early adulthood.
- In 2008, teens who experienced depression over the past year were more likely to report heavy use of alcohol than those who did not experience depression (3.4% vs. 1.8%).
- A study that used data from nearly 19,000 teens showed that girls who experimented with alcohol were more than twice as likely to have symptoms of depression as girls who abstained completely. Girls who used intravenous drugs were almost 18 times as likely to have symptoms of depression as girls who abstained. Boys who drank alcohol and were binge drinkers were two and a half times as likely to experience depression as boys who abstained.
KNOW WHEN TO GET HELP There is help for someone who has depression. Even in severe cases, depression is highly treatable. The first step is to visit a professional or doctor − your family doctor or a health clinic is a good place to start. A doctor can make sure the symptoms of depression are not being caused by another medical condition. A doctor may refer you to a mental health professional who has experience working with adolescents.
1 The most common treatments of depression are psychotherapy (talking with a psychiatrist or psychologist) and medication. But only a doctor can diagnose and treat depression. Talk with your parents, spouse, or loved one about setting up an appointment with your doctor – or you can confidentially call and speak with a professional who can help you better understand the problem. For Immediate help, call the Voice of Hope Crisis Hotline (406) 453-4357 (HELP)
Benefis Behavioral Health, Center for Mental Heath Sources: Depression: When the Blues Don’t Go Away (Short and Long Term Effects 2) – National Institute of Mental Health, 2008
View Source YOU CAN HELP A FRIEND OR LOVED ONE As a friend or family member, you might be the first to realize when your friend or loved one is showing signs of depression. You might even recognize it before your friend or loved one does. The first step is to talk with your friend or loved one and simply ask her how he/she is feeling. Ask her what might be causing his/her depression and how long he/she has been feeling down, and mention any of the signs that you might have been noticing. Remind your friend or loved one that depression is highly treatable under a doctor’s supervision and, that it is not their fault. Suggest that he/she make an appointment with their family doctor. Remember that neither of you is alone in this − you can get more
professional guidance. (links to local Help)
Benefis Behavioral Health, Center for Mental Heath For Immediate help, call the Voice of Hope Crisis Hotline (406) 453-4357 (HELP)
Are you feeling weighed down by pressure, and don’t know what to do? It might help if you talked to someone. There are lots of great resources available. Here are just a few to get you started.
Need help with emotional or psychiatric problems?
Voices of Hope 24/7 Crisis Hotline: (406) 453-HELP (4357) or 1 800 273-TALK (8255) Center for Mental Health: (406) 761-2100
Need help dealing with a drug or alcohol problem for you a friend, or family member?
Gateway Community Services (406) 727-2512 Benefis Addiction Services (406) 731-8888 Great Falls Public School District CARE program (406) 268-6770 Rocky Mountain Treatment Services 1 (855) 221-8963 Indian Family Health Clinic (406) 268-1510 Drug Facts – Get quick facts about drug risks.
When Your Parents Use Drugs – Learn more about your parent’s drug use and answers to questions you might have.
National Association for Children of Alcoholics – For more information and help.
Alateen For more information and help.
SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)
Your parent can call SAMHSA for help. Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357), 24 hours a day/7 days a week.
Need drug information or treatment in your area? Gateway Community Services (406) 727-2512 Benefis Addiction Services (406) 731-8888 Great Falls Public School District CARE program (406) 268-6770 Rocky Mountain Treatment Services 1 (855) 221-8963 Indian Family Health Clinic (406) 268-1510
Having trouble coping with pressure and want to talk to a counselor right now? Voices of Hope 24/7 Crisis Hotline: (406) 453-HELP (4357) or 1 800 273-TALK (8255) Center for Mental Health: (406) 761-2100
Need help with sexual or violent assault: YWCA 24/7 Hotline: 1 800 352-7449 Victim Witness Assistance Services: (406) 315-1111
Looking for advice on other topics?
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. Its mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. The call is free and confidential. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), 24 hours a day/7 days a week.
National Eating Disorders Association – The National Eating Disorders Association provides a toll-free helpline to connect people with resources, information, or referrals to national and local treatment providers. Call 1-800-931-2237, Available Monday through Friday, 11:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time
S.A.F.E. Alternatives – Self-injury is known by many names, including self-abuse, cutting, self-mutilation, or deliberate self-harm. S.A.F.E. Alternatives is a nationally recognized group that provides counseling, treatment referrals, and resources if you need help. This toll-free 800 number is an information line, but hotline information is available on the S.A.F.E. website. Call 1 1 800-DONT CUT (366-8288), Available Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.
NATIONAL RESOURCES
NIDA (National Institute on Drug Abuse) – Get more facts about the science behind drugs and addiction.
SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) – For free resources or referrals to treatment, visit SAMSHA website to download information or to speak to someone now, call the help line. Call 1-800-662-HELP, 24 hours a day/7 days a week.
Boys Town National Hotline – Boys Town National Hotline is a 24-hour crisis, resource and referral line staffed by highly-trained counselors who can respond to your questions about family and school problems, pregnancy, suicide, chemical dependency, sexual and physical abuse. They also have a chat room staffed with trained counselors. Call 1-800-448-3000, 24 hours a day/7 days a week.
Covenant House “NineLine” Hotline – This is a general hotline for teens with any kind of problem – from substance abuse to family and school problems to relationships, The Covenant House’s expertise is in dealing with homeless and runaway youth. Call 1 800 999-9999, 24 hours a day/7 days a week.
View local TRENDS and YOUTH RISK BEHAVIORS from our area.
Sticker Shock September 8th, 2016livingati
The purpose of the Alliance for Youth app is to provide youth with useful and relatable information about mental health and suicide prevention… all at their fingertips. Whether the user be the at risk person, or a friend or family member, through a custom app we can make sure the information they receive is accurate, relevant, and trustworthy. It also provides additional resources such as safe spaces for those who might be in a vulnerable state..
